poi

Lately I have been in a state of drunkenness. How I wish it were from alcohol, but it just isn't. I am drunk with my multiple work (whose multiple incomes I have not tasted yet). I am drunk with love (which is I don't know, I love the idea of being in love but I don't really see myself being in a relationship this time..) . I am drunk with excitement (of the thought of being able to live independently from my parents and from our house). I am drunk.

I continuously complain about my life, but at the same time, I am completely in love with it. That's drunkenness.

In my work as a Web Developer, many people ask me about how I see myself in a couple of years in the IT sector. I do expect those kinds of questions, but I feel weird about answering them at the same time. I am a goal-setter, an output-oriented, systems-creator kind of person - that's why I have to say, I do have goals in this line of work. But at the same time, I am Hedonistic (the way Foucault would explain it), and I live for and with what is pleasure-able - that is why I have to say I am in this work and in other 'works' because I am pleasured by the way they make me feel. But not everyone could get what I am trying to explain. It's rather complicated to answer in just one sentence.

But just the same, the world opens up. It gets bigger and smaller for me everyday. My state of drunkenness is brought about by the liminality I live in. We are all liminal beings - we cannot box ourself in one category because the world is big enough to continue exploring. But the more we explore, the more we realize how small it could get. I am constantly reminded - we live in just one world. And this one world is big enough and small enough for each one to find purpose.